CLABBER

Chapter 2: Cancer Barry Morrow’s encouragement launched Just Dale , but before it was written, Just Dale , had to be lived. A big part of the living happened when kidney cancer entered my life. Comfy in my recliner, a large screen TV with surround-sound flickers as the great white from Jaws chomps on Captain Quint. The phone rings. It’s Dr. Kaiser, my urologist. “ Dale, I am afraid I have some bad news.” My mouth is suddenly dry, but I manage to respond, “Yes?” “ We have your test results. You have a tumor on your left kidney. I am sure it is cancerous. I showed the results to an oncologist and he concurs.” Suddenly, there is very little air in the room. “ What does this mean?” My hearing fades in and out as Dr. Kaiser continues. “ We’ve caught it early...very lucky...usually takes a long time to manifest...too late...appears to be localized...could perform a biopsy...results would be unreliable.” I inhale for the first time since hearing the word cancer. “

Just Dale The following pages are a true fiction of an imagined life - true because they are my best recollection of events, yet fiction because they were written during a period of hypomania and hallucination lasting approximately two years. Some people were offended by my words. Some people liked them. Most had no opinion at all. Barry Morrow, author of the Emmy Winning screenplay Bill , and the Oscar Winning screenplay for the movie Rainman had this to say:   “ A heavy brick of a package arrived…imagine my surprise to discover that it was actually a small, careworn treasure chest filled with rare jewels. Well done, my friend. Thank you for trusting the world enough to want to brighten it. With love and deep respect, Barry”   Chapter 1: HOLLYWOOD MAN My pen makes pixelated images to calm my brain. I look up as a man wearing sunglasses enters Uptown Bill’s Small Mall, a nonprofit organization for people who have disabilities and people who don’t fit anywhere else. The man in